Games of Thrones
America's political figures find their Westerosi kindred spirits
Barack Obama
Barack Obama rocketed to stardom in youth and, through deft maneuvering, has positioned himself atop the power structure of the world. He’s obsessed with his legacy. Most all others who seek or wield power within the established order defer to him, publicly or privately. He’s not one to be trifled with. Barack Obama is Tywin Lannister.
Joe Biden
Joe Biden has been around forever and never had the brains to deserve his position. He’s now a doddering old fool, but the political system has reason to keep him in a prominent position and pretend he deserves it. Joe Biden is Grand Maester Pycelle.
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton came to power in the dawn of a new, post-(Cold)War era. He was far more in his element campaigning than in day-to-day politics. He sought relief from his boredom in the form of trysts with young women, despite his wife. Bill Clinton is Robert Baratheon.
Hillary Clinton
Hillary Clinton achieved her ambition by marrying a man who reigned during a long period of peace. She resented him for his womanizing and moved on, aspiring to rule for herself. She’s conniving and very willing to kill for her purposes, but never quite as smart as she thinks she is. Hillary Clinton is Cersei Lannister.
Bernie Sanders
Bernie Sanders is a communist true believer. He presents as a poor, meek man even after acquiring a great deal of power, and nearly came to rule the country, except that he didn’t appreciate how far Hillary Clinton would go to stop him. Bernie Sanders is the High Sparrow.
Nancy Pelosi
Nancy Pelosi has been around forever and played the game forever, and she’s very good at it. She operates behind the scenes, taking out the people she dislikes and elevating young people to positions of prominence, all while expanding her own influence. If she doesn’t like you, she’ll let you know. Nancy Pelosi is Olenna Tyrell.
Kamala Harris
Kamala Harris got her foothold in the political realm at a young age via a sexual performance. She never did much by way of policy or administration; she generally avoids that sort of thing and tries to get herself awarded high stations based on her physical characteristics. She will be whatever she needs to be at a given moment to stay in the game. Kamala Harris is Margaery Tyrell.
Tim Walz
Tim Walz is a pasty, pudgy, thoroughly unremarkable man who found himself in a decent position by serving the regime’s agenda. As is the case with Joe Biden, his betters pretend that he deserves to be in the room, and he returns the favor by pretending to know what he is doing. Tim Walz is Mace Tyrell.
John Fetterman
John Fetterman is a massive human being with disdain for the etiquette of polite society. A health issue rendered him a mute zombie, but the establishment continued to use him as a golem. John Fetterman is Gregor Clegane.
Rand Paul
Rand Paul articulates the principles of genuine freedom better than anyone else does, and is a leader of sorts for the libertarian movement, which is shunned by the masses and relegated to the fringe of the world. It’s a thankless job that’s more likely to get him killed than to lead to any real progress. Rand Paul is Mance Rayder.
Donald Trump
Donald Trump wants to smash the current political regime and restore the kingdom of old. He doesn’t need the existing political machine; he uses his own resources. He’s a man of the lower classes and common people who blunders about, making decisions that smack of inexperience or excessive hubris, but generally move him towards his goal. Donald Trump is Daenerys Targaryon.
JD Vance
JD Vance is a white male, but the sort of while male who is rejected and cast aside. He lived among criminals and lowlifes in a forgotten part of the world before making more of himself through a military career, which led to chance encounters that catapulted him to society’s upper echelon. He sees the big picture and the real dangers that face us, and while he was initially very skeptical of Donald Trump, he’s decided that the best way to save the world is to fall in behind him. JD Vance is Jon Snow.
Elon Musk
Elon Musk is an odd character with a disability who rose to fame for his contributions to the ruling class’s agenda (Tesla). He was one of them, but he was also rogue, a partier. Some might have said “debauched”. Over time, he’s been confronted by grim realities and sounded the alarm, leading to his harsh rejection by his former tribe. He came to support the outsider, Donald Trump. He still likes his drug of choice, and he’s known for his choice quotes. Elon Musk is Tyrion Lannister.
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After watching Tim Walz stammer his way through a debate, perhaps it is he who should have been Pycelle...